Crocodile Rock

Steve Erwin might be dead, but the crocs sure aren’t. Madeline was dying to see some real crocodiles before we left Australia, and Liana couldn’t wait to check out the snakes. I on the other hand hate anything that belongs to the reptile/amphibian kingdom. That didn’t matter I was going regardless. After all it could be cool.

Salt-water croc

We took a bus up to Hartley’s Crocodile Farm. The ride took some time. It winded through rainforest and mountains, but the view was amazing. By the time we got to the farm they had just begun to feed the salt-water crocs. We found the enclosure relatively quickly. It was hard to miss. It was a huge area fenced off with heaps of huge crocodiles basking in the sun.

When I say huge perhaps I should specify. These things could easily kill and eat a full grown human. I’m not going to lie I was pretty scared; watching them feed didn’t make me feel much better. They would snap their jaws so fast, and all I could think about was what would happen if I became the meal. The horror stories about people being eaten by these monstrous creatures didn’t help either.

I felt much more at home with the fresh-water crocodiles. They were about half the size, and the zookeeper informed us that these guys wouldn’t be able to eat a whole human. To me this translated to they won’t attack a human.

That being said, I think my favorite croc was the one that the three of us took a picture with. He was a croc baby, and his mouth was taped shut. He was almost cute. I said almost cute; after all, he will turn into a man-eating machine soon enough.

Some kind of python.

After all the excitement with the crocodiles the girls and I tried to get on a boat tour around a lagoon. This would give us to see crocs in their natural habitat. Unfortunately, we never checked in at the ticket office and therefore never got our boat tickets. Thankfully, we got tickets for a different boat tour at 2:30; right in the middle of the snake show.

At this point he had some time to kill, so we decided to have a bit of lunch and explore the rest of the park. We saw a lot of different crocodiles and other reptiles. Needless to say they all made my skin crawl. I shutter just thinking about them. Thankfully, there were some indigenous birds at the park. There were also some other native animals at the park. Koalas, kangaroos, and wombats all inhibit the park.

Margaret was right; wallabies are adorable.

My favorite animal by far was the wallaby. As much as it kills me to say this, Margaret Barrett was right about the ever so adorable wallaby. The one at Hartley’s was so friendly. I debated stealing him and bringing him back to the states. But I didn’t think Liana’s family would be too thrilled about another houseguest, especially if he wasn’t housebroken. But mark my words, one day Margaret Ann Barrett and I will move to Australia and we will own a wallaby. (Margie, I would like to name him Wally.)

Another thing that I hate to admit, Koalas are lazy, disgusting creatures. They just sat there and did nothing. They also eat their mom’s poop. I know I’ve mentioned this before, but it’s just nasty. I can’t get over it. At least the kangaroos let my feed them. That was pretty cool. FYI they like carrots better than the grass stuff.

As much as I wanted to stay there forever the snake show was starting soon. We headed to the amphitheater and much to Liana’s dismay chose seats close to the back. We could only stay until 2:20, but we did get to see a python and a neck-frilled lizard. We also learned how to treat a snake wound, which was information that I found particularly important. Unfortunately, the presenter told us that if you get bit by a venomous snake there’s a pretty good chance that regardless of what you do you’ll probably die. Let’s just hope I don’t encounter any of those while I’m here.

Steve Erwin wannabe.

I was surprisingly interested in the snake show, but 2:20 rolled around and we had to get in line for our lagoon boat trip. We should’ve stayed at the snake show. All the boat tour did was feed the crocs while we sat in a hot boat and sweated our butts off. At least there was a breeze at the snake show. By the time our tour was done it was just about time for Croc Attack. It is pretty much a show with a crockeeper who feeds and taunts the crocodile. It was kind of cruel. The guy also kept scaring the hell out of me when the croc would jump at him. Did the Aussies learn nothing from Steve Erwin?

Sadly it was time to go after the croc show. We didn’t even have time to go see the koala feeding. Come on, that would’ve be amazing compared to watching crocodiles eat all day.

We exited through the gift shop, and I actually found a few good souvenirs. Nothing too interesting happened after that. We walked to the yatch club. Apparently, if you get there before 4 the yatch owners will take you out on their boats, and then you go out to dinner with them after the sunsets. Well, we didn’t get back until five so we missed it, but it was for the best. First off, the three of us are very awkward people; I can’t see us being good at picking up yatchers. We can barely pick up men. And secondly, the sunset was awful. We thought about eating there, but it wasn’t our scene. Again, we are awkward. We settled with Finz. They had specialized in locally caught fish and horrible service. I wish waiters worked on tips in Australia. There would be a huge increase in the customer service we receive.

After dinner we were all so stuffed that we decided it would be wise to head home. We bummed around a bit before nodding off to bed.

Cheers, mate.

I finally understand

Margaret Barrett is a genius. I love wallabies, and want one desperately.

Possibly the best pet ever.

Super human

Me, Liana, and Madeline before we got on the boat.

It has always been a dream of mine to be able to breathe underwater and swim with the fish. I’ve tried snorkeling before, but I have always wanted to scuba dive. Could there be a better place to scuba dive than the Great Barrier Reef? I can’t think of one.

I have been looking forward to this day since the trip was booked. Originally the girls and I were just going to snorkel. However Michelle, Liana's family friend got us 20% off snorkeling at Poseidon, so we decided to give it a try. When in Australia…

We woke up bright and early, and were picked up at Dougie’s a little after 8 in the morning. It was a short ride to the boat, and then we were welcomed aboard. They had a spread of breakfast food to eat; my personal favorite was the muffins. They were apple cinnamon I think.

What is the hand signal for shark?

After filling our bellies with the delicious food we filled out some paperwork, and the lesson began. Herold was the trusted instructor in charge of, as he likes to call it, 'keeping us alive.' He taught us everything we needed to know before the dive. We learned how to equalize our lungs and ears as well as how to read the gauges if for any reason something were to happen to our instructor. Perhaps the most vital information we learned dealt with communication underwater. I can't believe the thought never occurred to me, but we couldn't talk through our equipment. We were tested on the material, and then we were ready.

The boat ride lasted only a few minutes longer than the actual lesson. By the time our dive came I was ready to jump right in. The instructors helped to suit us up, and then we were pushed in. I volunteered to be the first of new divers to take the plunge; I had been waiting for this since we arrived in Australia.

Perhaps I was too eager. Once I was submerged under the water I began having a panic attack. Another fact about scuba diving that never occurred to me: You can't breathe through your nose. I immediately swam to surface in hopes of breathing in the salty air. Instead I drank heaps of salt water.

The instructors could give us all the information we needed to learn to dive, but there was no way for them to teach us how to breathe underwater. After I finally pulled myself together I realized all the new divers were watching. We were too far away from the boat for them to know what I was saying, but I'm sure half of them would've quit right then if they heard the fear in my voice. Then I thought to my own friends, specifically Madeline.

Madeline, me, and Liana just before the dive.

She already expressed her fear to us before we stepped on the boat. I felt like it was my duty to prove everything was going to be okay. If I didn't and quit right there she never would've gotten in the water. I still don't know how I got used to breathing through my mouth, but I guess it comes to do sink or swim. Unfortunately, Madeline couldn't bring herself to scuba dive. Thankfully she was still able to snorkel.

Liana and I continued with the dive and went down a rope to the bottom of the ocean. It wasn’t very deep, but it was still hard to equalize my ears. That translates to popping my ears. The dive wasn’t very long, but we got to see a lot. It was amazing to see the reef from that far under water.

Sadly the reef is dying, and we didn’t see the Finding Nemo colors. The reef actually looked brown, with a few parts of green and blue. The fish were more colorful than the reef. We aren’t sure, but the girls and I suspect that they can only take people to the places of the reef where it is dying. This way there isn’t substantial damage to healthy reef. It was still amazing to see even if it wasn’t technicolored.

The sea cucumber felt like slug.

After our dive the boat took us to another dive location. This time Liana and I joined Maddie on the snorkel. It was similar to the scuba dive only it wasn’t nearly as hard. We still saw some cool things, but it looked the same as before. I definitely wish I could’ve gone deeper, but my snorkel kept filling up with salt water. I swear I can still taste it in my mouth.

Hoping to get rid of the taste I decided to give lunch a try. I had lost the girls on our snorkel and headed back to the boat where they were waiting for me. We got out of our wetsuits and went to get food. It was delicious, but I was ready to swim again.

The boat took us to our third and final dive location. Liana brought out the underwater camera we had bought a week earlier, and we were ready to go. We swam around taking pictures of everything. I didn’t want the day to end, but sadly it did. The boat took us back. I found the ride relaxing, but poor Liana got seasick. Thankfully once we got back she started to feel better.

Our day wasn’t over just yet. We went to a nearby restaurant that is known for a having a giant fish that lives under the dock. We saw a part of it and it was huge.  After we realized that was all we were going to see, the girls and I thought it would be a good idea to go back and shower than go out for dinner. On our way back to Dougie’s we ran into our friend Conner and invited him out to dinner. We got Cocina Mexicana, and then went out for drinks after.

Port Douglas closes pretty early compared to what we’re used to so we headed back around 11 and went to sleep. Livin’ the Aussie dream.

Cheers, mate.

Attack of the jellies

Well, not really, but the jelly fish were just outside the net that kept the other beach goers and myself safe. The beach was surprisingly not as busy as I was expecting. After all it felt hotter than hell today, even though it was the humidity that was the real killer.

But when you are in Port Douglas you have to go to 4-mile Beach. If you couldn’t guess by the name it is a beach that spans on for four miles. It’s just unfortunate that you can only swim in a small section of the ocean. It is jelly and shark season in Port Douglas, so if it means living I guess I can swim in the protection of the net.

The walk to the beach wasn’t too bad. We were all hydrated and ready to go for a nice dip, but after a few minutes of lying in the sun we were all ready to face the ocean current.

Sadly, the water wasn’t cold. It was almost warm. It would’ve have been a bad thing if it hadn’t been so hot out. I was really looking for some relief from the hot summer day. The water wasn’t only warm, but the waves were brutal. They would crash down when you would least expect it, and they were huge in comparison to the waves we were used to. At least we got a good tan out of it.

We laid our on the beach for another hour before deciding to make the trip back to Dougie’s for cold water and lunch. We hung out by the pool until about four before coming in to take a shower. Then we came back back to the room where we bummed around for a bit. I watched Sex and the City season 4 on my iTunes, and Madeline read her book. Liana joined us soon after and watched some Australian TV for children. In her defense it was the only channel that was working. Then we had to get ready for dinner. Madeline and I were finally going to meet Michelle at dinner. She is a friend of Diane’s who lives in Port Douglas; she actually set up our scuba diving trip, and managed to get us 20% off. Needless to say I liked her already.

Since the three of us had been eating pub grub for the past few days we decided Thai food would be good for dinner. Michelle took us to this great place. It was the first time Madeline and I had Thai, and we both loved it. After dinner Michelle offered to drive us home, but we decided ice cream would be a good idea. It was but I had to walk home in heels. 

But it was worth it. The ice cream was great, and we ended up making a friend with another person staying in a Port Douglas hostile. His name was Conor, and he was from Melbourne. He joined us for ice cream, and we chatted for a bit, but then us girls went back home like the losers we are. We had an early morning the next day.

Cheers, mate.

It’s pronounced CANS

Our accommodations at Dougie's, our hostile home.

But it is spelled like Cairns. Strange, I know. And you know what else? It is humid as hell here. This would be the last place I would recommend for my dad. It was only 80 degrees Fahrenheit, but it was so muggy and sticky it felt like 180.

I guess you can’t have a tropical rainforest without the rain aspect of it. It rained a little bit when we first arrived, but nothing too serious. Even the little rain couldn’t take away the beauty of this Queensland beach town.

After touching down in Cairns, the girls and I caught a shuttle to Port Douglas where we would be saying. (When I say shuttle think of a public taxi, but in short bus size.) It was just us, the driver, and a man from New Zealand but now lives in England. He had the strangest accent, but he definitely had the George Clooney allure to him.

The ride was too bad. Just a little long, but we did learn some interesting facts. Young koalas eat their mother’s poop to get enzymes that help the break down eucalyptus leaves, and without those enzymes the leaves would poison the koalas. Also the number one killer and injury caused to humans from any animal is the horse, in Australia. The car right was very informative, but it was nice to be dropped off at Dougie’s.

If you don’t know Dougie’s is a hostile. If you don’t know what a hostile is think of summer camp with three people to a room, or you could sleep in a tent, or actual camp style. Then add in community bathrooms and cheap alcohol. That’s a hostile. Ours is actually pretty nice. It’s only a ten-minute walk to the main area of town. It’s one minute from the beach, and it has its own pool. That being said the room is pretty small; it was a huge adjustment for us after leaving our swanky hotel in Sydney. At least now we have our own beds.

That has come in handy because I have recently contracted a cold, and I was sleeping in the middle.

After unpacking we headed to town to get food and medication, which hasn’t been helping much. Just my luck; I would get sick during the hottest week here and right as we are about to go scuba diving. Well, that didn’t stop us. We got a delicious lunch at a local grill and then made our way to the pharmacy.

We then headed to the market. It was sad because many of the shops had already closed down for the day, but we still managed to get some good finds. It was also nice, because the market wasn’t far from this cute church on the ocean. Liana’s mom wanted to get married in that church, and I can see why. The view is gorgeous; it looks out into the ocean and is completely picturesque. It looked perfect. It would be a great place to renew vows. That is, if they do that in Australia.

The girls and I bummed around town a bit and then headed home to shower and decide what we wanted to do while we were here. We had already signed up for our scuba excursion, but we still wanted to get an idea of what else we could do out here. So we grabbed a few brochures, a glass of wine, and headed into the general living area at Dougie’s to plan the rest of our week.

We narrowed down our options to a crocodile hunt and parasailing, if we can work it all out. We then sat down and enjoyed Happy Hour, which was surprisingly cheap and we were very happy about that.

Then we headed back to town for the toad races. I kind you not, they race toads down here. Cain toads are an invasive species that came over from America. They have no natural predators, and there are over 3 million of them in Australia. So this one guy decided to make some money off them and races them. You can bet on frogs to win prizes, but we just watched. You have to kiss the frog before the race if it’s your frog. It was really entertaining to watch, but when it was finally over we were famished.

We all sat down to eat, and thankfully our food came soon. I tried a bit of Liana’s calamari, and it was spectacular one more exotic food I could cross off my list. We headed back to the hostile after. On our way we saw a few examples of wildlife that Cairns had to offer. There were birds and frogs, but my favorite was the ever so shy male Cairnsian. We encountered three of them, and they tired to hit on us, but it was awkward. By awkward I mean they ‘hollered’ at us under their breath after we had already past. Confidence is key people! Now I just think you are a weirdo who has never talked to a girl before. Well, it’s probably for the best. I’m pretty sure they were short anyway.

Cheers, mate. 

New Years Eve & Mackers for dinner

NYE 2010.

I have a very specific tradition as to how my New Years goes. It starts with getting all dolled up for a classy dinner with my friends, and then we head out to some one’s house to celebrate. It’s been that way since my sophomore year of high school.

That being said this year was different, much different. Not only am I in a foreign country, but also the friends I celebrate NYE with are all at home. I didn’t even get a chance to ask what they did, or is that will do? The time change is really beginning to get to me. It is also strange for me because I didn’t receive hundreds of ‘happy new years!’ texts. I used to see them as trivial, but I miss the acknowledgement from my family and friends.

I crave to know that I am in their thoughts with the coming of a new year. I like to think that they are thinking of me and waiting for my arrival home. I haven’t thought much about home since coming here. It crossed my mind on Christmas after Skyping home, but other than that I’ve blocked the thoughts out of my mind. I know it will only make me sad.

But New Years Eve is my favorite holiday. It is all about reflecting on the years past, and then deciding how to grow as a person for the New Year to come. Over the past year so much has change. I hadn’t even met Liana at that point in my life, and Madeline and I were just becoming good friends. If you would’ve asked me what I would be doing this time last year I couldn’t even in my wildest dreams have come up with this.

I have skydived, become a vegetarian, and gone to a foreign country. But I think that the greatest thing I did last year was open my heart to new things and new people. I met some of my best friends last year, and couldn’t be more grateful to have them.

Now if you thought all I did on NYE was reflect on last year you must be trippin’. I was in Sydney for Pete’s sake! If you haven’t heard, Sydney is one of the biggest New Years celebrations in the Southern hemisphere. The celebration that takes place in the harbor is compared to that of Times Square in New York City.

I’ve never been to NYE in NYC, but from my own experience down under I would believe that it couldn’t get much crazier. The harbor was packed. There were over 1.5 million people attending the celebration in the harbor alone. Thankfully Liana and Erin talked to a bus driver who informed us that we needed to get to the harbor before it was closed off; which was around 4. We found this out at 2:45.

Now, normally it doesn’t take me that long to get ready, but this was New Years Eve! I couldn’t bring in the New Year looking like I do every day. I firmly believe that one should always look their best for a fresh start, and that’s exactly what New Years Eve is all about. It’s a way to say goodbye to last year’s regrets, and to start over for a better future. I’m still amazed that everyone got ready with just enough to caught a cab and make it the harbor before they closed the gates.

We were obviously rushed, and because of that we didn’t pack anything. No cards, no music, no blankets or towels. The girls and I had to entertain ourselves for 5 hours before the kid’s fireworks were set off at 9. We people watched, took mug shot pictures of ourselves, played Never Have I Ever, and just about any other thing you can think about to entertain us for that time.

When the fireworks finally did come they were spectacular. Now, fire works are fireworks, but when you are surrounded and every direction you look you see fireworks it’s a pretty cool thing. It was unfortunate that we had such a crappy spot. We got trapped behind a tree, so once the fireworks were done Liana and Madeline went on an excursion to find a new spot. Looking back on it now we all should’ve just gone together.

The crowd was ridiculous, and it moved at about a half a mile an hour, if that. We ended up standing, getting pushed around, creeped on, and trying to keep sane for the next three hours in anticipation of the countdown fireworks.

NYE made me really reflect on what I’ve achieved in 2012. I realized the most important lesson of all, Maddie and Liana are the two best friends anyone could have. I wish gay marriage was legal in Missouri. Someday. (Compliments of Liana Neri; I promised I wouldn’t change or delete. Sorry for the random thought.)

Let me just say the fireworks were fantastic. They lit up the sky all around us, and the fact that they were being launched off of national landmarks was pretty cool as well. Even though I didn’t know the people standing around me (besides the girls) it was nice to bring in the New Year with some many people. Our desires for the New Year are all different, but that doesn’t change the fact that we are embracing the new.

We originally thought that it would take us hours to get out of Circlular Quay; the area in between the bridge and the opera house. Surprisingly it took more like ten minutes if that. After we made it out of the harbor area we headed back to the hotel. What can I say, we’re old farts who just need sleep. Well, the majority of us did, and we overruled. I was completely fine with the decision. After all Madeline, Liana, and I had an early flight to catch in the morning.

Cheers, mate.

Life’s just a day at the beach part three

Emma, Erin, Liana, Madeline, and I went out for another adventure today. First we stopped at the Pygon. It is part of the Sydney Bridge. It was a good work out trying to get up there, but the view was great. However, I would be just fine if I never had to climb another stair again.

After we saw all there was to see we made our way to the ferries, where we caught a boat to Manly Beach. It was there that we had lunch. Emma suggested Manly Grill. Not only was the food delicious, but also the service was ten times better than the Nine Dragons. We got napkins as soon as we sat down, and they offered us water before we had a chance to look at the menu. To top it all off we never had to ask for another jug. Compared to eating at hell’s kitchen this place was heavenly. The food also could have come from heaven. We all left the restaurant in severe stomach pain from eating too much, and don’t get me started on the food babies.

It was the perfect time to shimmy into our bikinis and head out to the beach. Well, the timing might not have been great being so bloated and all. Hey we we’re on vacation, and it’s not like we’ll ever see them again.

After a long day on the beach we decided it was time to head back to the hotel to get ready for tonight. Which leads me to right now, we’re getting ready to go out. Then Madeline, Liana, and I are teaching the other girls beer pong; a perfect example of an American pastime. Then we’re going out to bar or club after.

Cheers, mate.