Crocodile Rock

Steve Erwin might be dead, but the crocs sure aren’t. Madeline was dying to see some real crocodiles before we left Australia, and Liana couldn’t wait to check out the snakes. I on the other hand hate anything that belongs to the reptile/amphibian kingdom. That didn’t matter I was going regardless. After all it could be cool.

Salt-water croc

We took a bus up to Hartley’s Crocodile Farm. The ride took some time. It winded through rainforest and mountains, but the view was amazing. By the time we got to the farm they had just begun to feed the salt-water crocs. We found the enclosure relatively quickly. It was hard to miss. It was a huge area fenced off with heaps of huge crocodiles basking in the sun.

When I say huge perhaps I should specify. These things could easily kill and eat a full grown human. I’m not going to lie I was pretty scared; watching them feed didn’t make me feel much better. They would snap their jaws so fast, and all I could think about was what would happen if I became the meal. The horror stories about people being eaten by these monstrous creatures didn’t help either.

I felt much more at home with the fresh-water crocodiles. They were about half the size, and the zookeeper informed us that these guys wouldn’t be able to eat a whole human. To me this translated to they won’t attack a human.

That being said, I think my favorite croc was the one that the three of us took a picture with. He was a croc baby, and his mouth was taped shut. He was almost cute. I said almost cute; after all, he will turn into a man-eating machine soon enough.

Some kind of python.

After all the excitement with the crocodiles the girls and I tried to get on a boat tour around a lagoon. This would give us to see crocs in their natural habitat. Unfortunately, we never checked in at the ticket office and therefore never got our boat tickets. Thankfully, we got tickets for a different boat tour at 2:30; right in the middle of the snake show.

At this point he had some time to kill, so we decided to have a bit of lunch and explore the rest of the park. We saw a lot of different crocodiles and other reptiles. Needless to say they all made my skin crawl. I shutter just thinking about them. Thankfully, there were some indigenous birds at the park. There were also some other native animals at the park. Koalas, kangaroos, and wombats all inhibit the park.

Margaret was right; wallabies are adorable.

My favorite animal by far was the wallaby. As much as it kills me to say this, Margaret Barrett was right about the ever so adorable wallaby. The one at Hartley’s was so friendly. I debated stealing him and bringing him back to the states. But I didn’t think Liana’s family would be too thrilled about another houseguest, especially if he wasn’t housebroken. But mark my words, one day Margaret Ann Barrett and I will move to Australia and we will own a wallaby. (Margie, I would like to name him Wally.)

Another thing that I hate to admit, Koalas are lazy, disgusting creatures. They just sat there and did nothing. They also eat their mom’s poop. I know I’ve mentioned this before, but it’s just nasty. I can’t get over it. At least the kangaroos let my feed them. That was pretty cool. FYI they like carrots better than the grass stuff.

As much as I wanted to stay there forever the snake show was starting soon. We headed to the amphitheater and much to Liana’s dismay chose seats close to the back. We could only stay until 2:20, but we did get to see a python and a neck-frilled lizard. We also learned how to treat a snake wound, which was information that I found particularly important. Unfortunately, the presenter told us that if you get bit by a venomous snake there’s a pretty good chance that regardless of what you do you’ll probably die. Let’s just hope I don’t encounter any of those while I’m here.

Steve Erwin wannabe.

I was surprisingly interested in the snake show, but 2:20 rolled around and we had to get in line for our lagoon boat trip. We should’ve stayed at the snake show. All the boat tour did was feed the crocs while we sat in a hot boat and sweated our butts off. At least there was a breeze at the snake show. By the time our tour was done it was just about time for Croc Attack. It is pretty much a show with a crockeeper who feeds and taunts the crocodile. It was kind of cruel. The guy also kept scaring the hell out of me when the croc would jump at him. Did the Aussies learn nothing from Steve Erwin?

Sadly it was time to go after the croc show. We didn’t even have time to go see the koala feeding. Come on, that would’ve be amazing compared to watching crocodiles eat all day.

We exited through the gift shop, and I actually found a few good souvenirs. Nothing too interesting happened after that. We walked to the yatch club. Apparently, if you get there before 4 the yatch owners will take you out on their boats, and then you go out to dinner with them after the sunsets. Well, we didn’t get back until five so we missed it, but it was for the best. First off, the three of us are very awkward people; I can’t see us being good at picking up yatchers. We can barely pick up men. And secondly, the sunset was awful. We thought about eating there, but it wasn’t our scene. Again, we are awkward. We settled with Finz. They had specialized in locally caught fish and horrible service. I wish waiters worked on tips in Australia. There would be a huge increase in the customer service we receive.

After dinner we were all so stuffed that we decided it would be wise to head home. We bummed around a bit before nodding off to bed.

Cheers, mate.